Friday Funny: Is This the Rapture? (Or Is This Gentrification?)

Gentrification has been described as the end of the world before. But not like this.

1 minute read

November 6, 2015, 5:00 AM PST

By James Brasuell @CasualBrasuell


Gentrification

MsSaraKelly / Flickr

The jokes come early and often in this satire of gentrification by Zain Khalid that takes a page out of the Book of Revelations. The premise: that the Bible's highly symbolic prediction of the Judgment Day can be rendered into a highly symbolic process of gentrification.

So, the "Book of Revelations" has been renamed "Millennials" in these passages from the "New Standard Greenpoint Bible." The four horsemen of the gentrification, according to the satires commentary on the passages chosen from Millennials:

  • Brine – or "the emergence of not only artisanal pickle shops, but of all unnecessary goods."
  • Snark – as evidenced  by chalkboards outside local stores with quotes from Bill Murray about chalkboards, "in an attempt to be what experts call 'meta.'"
  • Brunch – "There are those who believe Brunch to be the most destructive of the horsemen."
  • Whole Foods – "As Whole Foods arrives, hope departs." Although, Lana Del Rey will be elected to City Council, so they have that going for them, which is nice.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015 in McSweeney's

portrait of professional woman

I love the variety of courses, many practical, and all richly illustrated. They have inspired many ideas that I've applied in practice, and in my own teaching. Mary G., Urban Planner

I love the variety of courses, many practical, and all richly illustrated. They have inspired many ideas that I've applied in practice, and in my own teaching.

Mary G., Urban Planner

Get top-rated, practical training

Close-up of "Apartment for rent" sign in red text on black background in front of blurred building

Trump Administration Could Effectively End Housing Voucher Program

Federal officials are eyeing major cuts to the Section 8 program that helps millions of low-income households pay rent.

April 21, 2025 - Housing Wire

Logo for Planetizen Federal Action Tracker with black and white image of U.S. Capitol with water ripple overlay.

Planetizen Federal Action Tracker

A weekly monitor of how Trump’s orders and actions are impacting planners and planning in America.

April 30, 2025 - Diana Ionescu

Ken Jennings stands in front of Snohomish County Community Transit bus.

Ken Jennings Launches Transit Web Series

The Jeopardy champ wants you to ride public transit.

April 20, 2025 - Streetsblog USA

Close-up of man in manually operated wheelchair waiting at urban crosswalk.

Making Mobility More Inclusive

A new study highlights the challenges people with disabilities continue to face in navigating urban spaces.

30 minutes ago - Greater Good Magazine

US and Texas flags flying in front of Texas state capitol dome in Austin, Texas.

Texas Bills Could Push More People Into Homelessness

A proposal to speed up the eviction process and a bill that would accelerate enforcement of an existing camping ban could make the state’s homelessness crisis worse, advocates say.

1 hour ago - The Texas Tribune

Person in yellow safety suit and white helmet kneels to examine water samples outdoors on a lake shore.

USGS Water Science Centers Targeted for Closure

If their work is suspended, states could lose a valuable resource for monitoring, understanding, and managing water resources.

2 hours ago - Inside Climate News