The always-irreverent satirical news site The Onion produced a fake report about a crash involving the Coors Light Party Train in Pratt, Kansas, where miraculously materializing Coors Light cans are complicating rescue efforts.
In a satirical news report aimed more at the ridiculous ways beer is marketed in the United States than the serious issue of train safety, The Onion reports that a Coors Light Party Train has crashed while barreling through the middle of the country “on its way to liven up a boring, over-heated BBQ.”
Surprisingly enough, some of the joke at the marketing campaign’s expense comes via engineering statistics that are sure to delight fans of high speed rail. For instance, the Party Train is powered by frost and travels at 27,000 miles per hour. The train’s juggernaut specifications are an early suspect in investigations into the cause of the crash. “Investigators are now focusing on the fact that the train ways 400 million tons and was not on rails,” reports The Onion.
Or maybe the report is a satire on the current political reality for high speed rail projects in the country. That’s probably a question best pondered over a cold one.
Read the full story: BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash
Planetizen Federal Action Tracker
A weekly monitor of how Trump’s orders and actions are impacting planners and planning in America.
‘Going backwards:’ Baltimore mayor, students rally against state's transit funding plan
Maryland's proposed six-year plan provides no funding for Baltimore’s BMORE bus program and reduces its road maintenance funding.
Detroit to transform waterfront with $2.2 billion investment
Developers will convert about 18 acres of unused parking lot space into civic spaces.
Newsom vetoes high-speed rail supervision bill after agency receives condemnatory audit
The audit found the CHSRA approved almost $600,000 in unallowable travel expenses.
Nation sees first electric plane-boat hybrid take off in public demo
The Viceroy Seaglider can fly at speeds of 180mph for up to 180 miles.
One of nation’s poorest counties to receive $6 billion data center
The developers estimate the project will create 200 permanent jobs and 1,000 temporary construction jobs.
FREE Course: Walkable City 1: Why Walkability?
After describing his path towards focusing on walkability as the essence of good planning, Jeff Speck marches through his five principal reasons for making more walkable places.
Reinventing Malls: Planning Alchemy—Turning Gray Fields Into Gold
The course focuses on the opportunities and imperatives that shape reinvention of mall sites.
City of Thousand Oaks
City of Wisconsin Rapids
Harvard University Graduate School of Design
The Architects Foundation
University of Cincinnati Online
Northern Illinois Transit Authority (NITA)
The Pocatello Development Authority
The Urban Renewal Agency of the City of Pocatello