A satirical take on the "Leaving New York" genre of confessional makes believe Marvel Comics style. No spoilers included here.

If you do a Google search for "Leaving New York" you'll find plenty to read and watch. This article from January 2019 about the city's nation-leading pace of out-migration, for instance. There are many, many YouTube videos of people who decided to share their exit plans to the world on a vlog. There's also a song by REM called, "Leaving New York."
Leaving New York, it seems, is as much of a cliché as moving to New York.
But that's where the humor of a satirical article written by Sam Weiner and published by McSweeney's. Weiner is leaving New York City, like so many before. But this New York City is in the Marvel Comics Universe, so add some additional drama to the mix of leaving New York clichés.
I love New York City. I’m grateful for every moment I’ve had in this city of dreams. There’s no single reason why I’ve decided to move on, but there is one major factor: I’m sick and tired of being blown up all the time and then waiting for the Avengers to fix everything.
There's a nod to more reality-based decisions to leaving New York, so the satire of the leaving New York genre:
Frankly, New York is also just too damn expensive. When Baron Zemo trapped all of Manhattan in the impenetrable Darkforce Dimension for months, guess who that hit the hardest? Freelancers from Brooklyn, like me.
To add injury to the insult, we find out that Weiner has designs on moving to Los Angeles as a result of all these calamities:
Yes, there was a time when living in a shoebox with six friends above a Papaya Dog was fun. But then Magneto invaded Ludlow Street with an army of genetically modified Swamp Men from the Savage Land, and half my roommates died. My cousin Georgie was mauled by a pack of raccoons controlled by an evil piper and now he’s got a limp. I love you, NYC, but that sort of thing just doesn’t happen in LA.
A lot more jokes, and a great kicker involving everyone's favorite God of Thunder can be found in the source article.
FULL STORY: WHY I’M LEAVING MARVEL UNIVERSE’S NEW YORK

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