Friday Funny: The Onion Imagines a Very New York Moment for the MTA

"In response to numerous complaints regarding recent delays and route changes to the city’s public transportation system, Metropolitan Transportation Authority officials at a press conference Monday reminded residents that they can [redacted] walk," according to a fake news article by The Onion.

New York City is lucky to have the gold standard in U.S. public transit systems, a point that an MTA spokesperson is happy to point out: "We apologize to anyone frustrated by interruptions in service of our incredibly intricate 24-hour transportation system that provides fast commutes in relative ease and comfort…"

That's pretty much all of the quotes in the article without a veritable cornucopia of foul language more familiar on the streets and in the subways of New York rather than on the pages of Planetizen. Proceed with duly noted caution.