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Friday Funny: The Onion Imagines a Very New York Moment for the MTA

In this fake, satirical article, The Onion imagines that the MTA has finally had enough complaints about service failures and overcrowding on the New York subway. Vulgarities ensue.
February 16, 2018, 5am PST | James Brasuell | @CasualBrasuell
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"In response to numerous complaints regarding recent delays and route changes to the city’s public transportation system, Metropolitan Transportation Authority officials at a press conference Monday reminded residents that they can [redacted] walk," according to a fake news article by The Onion.

New York City is lucky to have the gold standard in U.S. public transit systems, a point that an MTA spokesperson is happy to point out: "We apologize to anyone frustrated by interruptions in service of our incredibly intricate 24-hour transportation system that provides fast commutes in relative ease and comfort…"

That's pretty much all of the quotes in the article without a veritable cornucopia of foul language more familiar on the streets and in the subways of New York rather than on the pages of Planetizen. Proceed with duly noted caution. 

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Published on Monday, February 5, 2018 in The Onion
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