Friday Funny: City Wants to Skip the Hard Parts of Revitalization

The Onion provides a fake dispatch from a city that wants lobster roll stands and high-end noodle bars on every corner, like now.

1 minute read

May 15, 2015, 5:00 AM PDT

By James Brasuell @CasualBrasuell


European Cafe

Tony Zelenoff / Shutterstock

"Saying they were fed up with the numerous challenges stemming from their city’s extensive urban decay, Camden, NJ residents confirmed Wednesday that they would love to just skip to the part where they get a hip, revitalized restaurant scene."

The satirical post also gives voice to some of those fake residents who describe themselves as willing to skip the part where the city addresses its "endemic crime, rampant drug abuse, and high unemployment rate" so that Camden will sooner see the benefits of a vibrant culinary scene.

And because it's satire, the fake residents of Camden are also self-aware enough to make a final demand: "Camden residents also told reporters they would like the city’s accelerated revitalization process to then stop just before they are priced out of their current apartments."

Wednesday, May 13, 2015 in The Onion

portrait of professional woman

I love the variety of courses, many practical, and all richly illustrated. They have inspired many ideas that I've applied in practice, and in my own teaching. Mary G., Urban Planner

I love the variety of courses, many practical, and all richly illustrated. They have inspired many ideas that I've applied in practice, and in my own teaching.

Mary G., Urban Planner

Cover CM Credits, Earn Certificates, Push Your Career Forward

Logo for Planetizen Federal Action Tracker with black and white image of U.S. Capitol with water ripple overlay.

Planetizen Federal Action Tracker

A weekly monitor of how Trump’s orders and actions are impacting planners and planning in America.

July 2, 2025 - Diana Ionescu

Aerial view of town of Wailuku in Maui, Hawaii with mountains in background against cloudy sunset sky.

Maui's Vacation Rental Debate Turns Ugly

Verbal attacks, misinformation campaigns and fistfights plague a high-stakes debate to convert thousands of vacation rentals into long-term housing.

July 1, 2025 - Honolulu Civil Beat

Person wearing mask walking through temporary outdoor dining setup lined with bistro lights at dusk in New York City.

Restaurant Patios Were a Pandemic Win — Why Were They so Hard to Keep?

Social distancing requirements and changes in travel patterns prompted cities to pilot new uses for street and sidewalk space. Then it got complicated.

June 19, 2025 - Diana Ionescu

Aerial view of new neifhborhood under construction with enpty lots in foreground.

In California Battle of Housing vs. Environment, Housing Just Won

A new state law significantly limits the power of CEQA, an environmental review law that served as a powerful tool for blocking new development.

July 2 - CALmatters

Low-rise Pearl Sreet mall in Boulfer, Colorado.

Boulder Eliminates Parking Minimums Citywide

Officials estimate the cost of building a single underground parking space at up to $100,000.

July 2 - Boulder Reporting Lab

Two-story buildings with porches in walkable Florida neighborhood.

Orange County, Florida Adopts Largest US “Sprawl Repair” Code

The ‘Orange Code’ seeks to rectify decades of sprawl-inducing, car-oriented development.

July 2 - CNU Public Square