The headline of the latest foray of The Onion into the tragic world of traffic safety: "Conscientious SUV Shopper Just Wants Something That Will Kill Family In Other Car In Case Of Accident".
This might be a case of "funny because it's true," or it could be more like, "unfunny because it's too true." But The Onion has noticed the trend of Americans buying bigger, more dangerous and polluting cars (SUVs and trucks, actually) and produced a particularly scathing example of satire.
Explaining that she did not have any strong preferences when it came to make or model, area woman Laura Bauer, a conscientious SUV shopper, confirmed Wednesday that she just wanted something that would kill the family in the other car if she got into an accident.
The entirely fictional Bauer, cleverly named for an edition of one of the first SUV models to strike it rich in the American market (the Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer edition of this correspondent's high school years, although Bauer's work with Ford goes back to the early 1980s), also has this to say:
I don’t need anything fancy, just a practical, midsize SUV that gets good mileage and will easily slaughter a family of five during a 60-mph crash. The last thing I want is a flimsy sedan that takes out Mommy and Daddy in the front seat but leaves behind a couple of orphans in the back.
The reality that informs this satirical fabrication has been covered throughout the entirety of Planetizen's existence, but here are a few recent examples of the danger presented by the American love for large vehicles—starting first with another example of The Onion's satire from earlier this year.
- Sunday Funny: The Onion Calls Out the Auto Industry for its Massive SUVs (March 2020)
- Men and SUVs: A Bad Mix for Traffic Safety (December 2019)
- U.S. Land Use, SUVs Targeted in New U.N. Climate Change Report (November 2019)
- British Researchers Sound the Alarm About the Dangers of Large SUVs (August 2019)
- SUVs Kill Pedestrians—and They Have for a Long Time (July 2019)
- GM Announces Plant Closures, Shift Toward Larger Vehicles (November 2018)
FULL STORY: Conscientious SUV Shopper Just Wants Something That Will Kill Family In Other Car In Case Of Accident
As Trucks Grow in Size, So Do the Safety Risks
Consumer Reports might be a surprising media outlet for an expose on the dangers of large personal vehicles—the kinds of trucks and SUVs growing in popularity and filling up U.S. roads.
Want to Drive a Big Pickup Truck in D.C.? It’s About to Get (Even More) Expensive
D.C. is considering a $500 vehicle license fee for private vehicles over 6,000 pounds.
Traffic Fatalities Set Records as Pandemic-Era Road Carnage Shows No Signs of Stopping
An estimated 42,915 people died in automobile crashes in 2021, according to recent federal data. The increasing fatalities continue a trend that began with the outset of the pandemic.
Trump Administration Could Effectively End Housing Voucher Program
Federal officials are eyeing major cuts to the Section 8 program that helps millions of low-income households pay rent.
Planetizen Federal Action Tracker
A weekly monitor of how Trump’s orders and actions are impacting planners and planning in America.
Canada vs. Kamala: Whose Liberal Housing Platform Comes Out on Top?
As Canada votes for a new Prime Minister, what can America learn from the leading liberal candidate of its neighbor to the north?
Washington State’s Parking Reform Law Could Unlock ‘Countless’ Acres for New Housing
A law that limits how much parking cities can require for residential amd commercial developments could lead to a construction boom.
Wildlife Rebounds After the Eaton Fire
Following the devastation of the Eaton Fire, the return of wildlife and the regrowth of native plants are offering powerful signs of resilience and renewal.
LA to Replace Inglewood Light Rail Project With Bus Shuttles
LA Metro says the change is in response to community engagement and that the new design will be ready before the 2028 Olympic Games.
Urban Design for Planners 1: Software Tools
This six-course series explores essential urban design concepts using open source software and equips planners with the tools they need to participate fully in the urban design process.
Planning for Universal Design
Learn the tools for implementing Universal Design in planning regulations.
Central Transportation Planning Staff/Boston Region MPO
Heyer Gruel & Associates PA
Institute for Housing and Urban Development Studies (IHS)
City of Grandview
Harvard GSD Executive Education
Regional Transportation Commission of Southern Nevada
Toledo-Lucas County Plan Commissions