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Friday Funny: The Onion Imagines a Slightly Sympathetic Jeff Bezos

The Onion is satire, so we'll never know if Jeff Bezos felt sorry for any of the cities wasting time and money on a pitch to win Amazon's second headquarters.
October 27, 2017, 6am PDT | James Brasuell | @CasualBrasuell
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Amazon made such a stir last week with the deadline for bids to lure its second headquarters that even the satirical news website The Onion couldn't help but notice and take pity on the dark horses among the 238 proposals forwarded to the attention of CEO Jeff Bezos.

The Onion's biting satire picks on Albany, New York a little, but let no one forget that 237 applicants will be disappointed when decision day arrives. The headline of the article: "Jeff Bezos’ Heart Breaks A Little Reading Albany’s Amazon Headquarters Pitch." While the satirical article is a little less than kind in poking fun at the community amenities Albany might be able to offer Amazon, its probably too sympathetic to Bezos in imagining him as heart broken upon reading the city's "sad presentation."

Then again, Albany sounds pretty nice where I'm sitting. Only Jeff Bezos and Amazon are suggesting it might not be good enough.

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Published on Tuesday, October 24, 2017 in The Onion
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