Friday Funny: A Survey to Rate the Greatness of Driveways

Yeah, this is a weird one.

1 minute read

January 13, 2017, 6:00 AM PST

By James Brasuell @CasualBrasuell


Rich Suburban House

Andrew Guyton / Flickr

"Big or small, gravel or otherwise, see how your childhood driveway stacks up!"

So goes a satirical and surreal post for Clickhole (owned by Onion, Inc., the same The Onion that has been skewering planning and urbanism for years) that manages to satirize, in strange fashion, several aspects of modern life all once. There's the satire of Internet mediums and genres to be sure, but there's also the satire of suburban life.

Assumed in this article is the nagging American desire to live in a suburban home large enough to fit several large vehicles. Assumed also is that most Americans are aware of the status conferred by the symbols of suburban living.

So the post asks us to fill out a very strange survey to rate our childhood driveways, to find out if they were "strongly anti-communist," or they had "a ramp that would launch believers straight to heaven."

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