Gov. Christie Hired to Try Reverse Psychology on Bertha Tunnel-Boring Machine

A surprising development in the behind-the-scenes saga of the massive tunnel-boring machine known as Bertha: anonymous sources inside the Washington State Department of Transportation have revealed that the agency briefly retained the services of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie to help jumpstart the stalled Alaskan Way Viaduct project in Seattle.

That is to say, Gov. Christie was brought on to try some old-fashioned reverse psychology. But don't call him a "tunnel-boring machine whisperer" just yet—sources say the technique didn't work.

"We thought, who better to make a convincing case to Bertha of its abject failure and inherent wastefulness than the same person who killed the most critical tunneling project in the country?" according to a state transportation official speaking on condition of anonymity, referring to Gov. Christie's infamous 2012 decision to kill the Trans-Hudson Passenger Rail Tunnel.  

Sources close to the project say Gov. Christie communicated verbally with Bertha, describing the tunnel boring machine and all of its kind as poorly-conceived wastes of taxpayer money. There is no email or written record of Gov. Christie's involvement in the project, however. 

Although reverse psychology failed, state transportation officials say the experiment showed that all options were on the table in trying to get Bertha moving again. "Duct tape" and/or "dumb luck" are currently given credit for Bertha's recent re-emergence from its subterranean meltdown.