Planetizen April 1st Edition

It has been revealed that the White House's Urban Affairs Agenda is entirely based on a late-night round of the computer game "Sim City", played by President Barack Obama and Urban Affairs Secretary Adolfo Carrion.

The economic recession has caused a shakedown in the retail sector, and retail powerhouse Wal-Mart has been forced to close many outlets. One city has found an innovative solution to the empty big box building left behind: put in a new Wal-Mart.

While completing a DEIR for the CCC on a BRT for a TND TOD, environmental planner Linda Gorman, MURP, AICP contracted acronym poisoning and had to be rushed to the hospital.

The entire $8 billion set aside in the federal stimulus plan for high speed rail has been dedicated towards improvements on the Disneyland Monorail, a 2.5-mile train system in Anaheim, California.

Bradley Archer, a long-time champion of New Urbanist principles, spends nearly every waking hour finding a way to get two, maybe three, uses out of everything.

Officials at the U.S. Census Bureau announced today that foreclosed homes had seen such an increase in numbers over the past two years that they would be included as an official race in the upcoming 2010 Census.

Officials in Shelbyville, Kentucky are officially adopting a citywide "Stupid Growth" policy. The city plans to release the new Shelbyville Stupid Growth General Plan, which emphasizes "building whatever."

Chartreuse and Associates, a sustainable eco-planning firm, has announced a new suburban development that they say is greener than green. The 14,000 sq ft single-family dwellings feature the latest in eco-gadgetry.

Legendary gigantic lizard monster Godzilla has been named planning director for the city of Tokyo. Shortly after his appointment, Mr. Zilla revealed his urban renewal program by smashing through buildings and stomping across entire city blocks.

The public comment period at a recent planning commission meeting in Wheaton, Illinois was commandeered by resident Joann Davies, who aggressively demanded that a variety of land uses be approved in her neighborhood.