Friday Funny: Sarcastic Responses to Honolulu's 'Distracted Walking' Ban

The Onion's always-sardonic "American Voices" feature allows some totally fake people to respond to Honolulu's recent decision to make it illegal to text while crossing the street on foot.

1 minute read

August 4, 2017, 6:00 AM PDT

By James Brasuell @CasualBrasuell

Eating and Driving

Kritsada Namborisut / Shutterstock

As Planetizen noted in July, the city of Honolulu made news recently by approving a law that will fine pedestrian scofflaws for the crime of texting while crossing the street. Fines will range from $15 to $99, depending on how many times offenders have run afoul of the law.

"American Voices," a regular feature on the satirical and devotedly fake news site The Onion, took notice and allowed its regular cast of characters a chance to respond to the new law. The (actually) fake person Bethany Floyd, a photo booth cleaner, had this to say about the idea that is now illegal in Honolulu to text while crossing the street: "That's ok. I do most of my texting while driving anyway."

There are more reactions included in the article.

For a much more serious, though indirect, response to the law's approach to traffic safety, see an article by Angie Schmitt published this week. "To get a sense of the real sources of risk for people on foot, it helps to look at where fatal crashes happen, because fatality rates have a very strong geographic component," writes Schmitt. "That’s true both within cities — where fatalities tend to be concentrated on a relative small share of streets — and from city to city."

Tuesday, August 1, 2017 in The Onion

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