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Friday Funny: Sarcastic Responses to Honolulu's 'Distracted Walking' Ban

The Onion's always-sardonic "American Voices" feature allows some totally fake people to respond to Honolulu's recent decision to make it illegal to text while crossing the street on foot.
August 4, 2017, 6am PDT | James Brasuell | @CasualBrasuell
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Eating and Driving
Kritsada Namborisut

As Planetizen noted in July, the city of Honolulu made news recently by approving a law that will fine pedestrian scofflaws for the crime of texting while crossing the street. Fines will range from $15 to $99, depending on how many times offenders have run afoul of the law.

"American Voices," a regular feature on the satirical and devotedly fake news site The Onion, took notice and allowed its regular cast of characters a chance to respond to the new law. The (actually) fake person Bethany Floyd, a photo booth cleaner, had this to say about the idea that is now illegal in Honolulu to text while crossing the street: "That's ok. I do most of my texting while driving anyway."

There are more reactions included in the article.

For a much more serious, though indirect, response to the law's approach to traffic safety, see an article by Angie Schmitt published this week. "To get a sense of the real sources of risk for people on foot, it helps to look at where fatal crashes happen, because fatality rates have a very strong geographic component," writes Schmitt. "That’s true both within cities — where fatalities tend to be concentrated on a relative small share of streets — and from city to city."

Full Story:
Published on Tuesday, August 1, 2017 in The Onion
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