Friday Funny: A Comedian's Guide to Coping With Traffic

Not recommended reading for those currently operating a motor vehicle.

1 minute read

December 11, 2015, 5:00 AM PST

By James Brasuell @CasualBrasuell


Delay Sign

Mr Doomits / Shutterstock

Nathan S. Holmes mines the oeuvre of classic comedian Mitch Hedberg for coping strategies, offered for "anyone whose daily routine involves a lot of traffic congestion."

Holmes's fomula is simple: quote one of Heberg's typically dry and twisted one liners and then describe its relevance to the commuter's condition.

So, for example, a joke from Mitch Hedberg (WARNING: foul language included):

"If you find yourself lost in the woods, fuck it! Build a house. 'Well, I was lost but now I live here. I have severely improved my predicament.'"

And Holmes's spin:

"Coping Strategy: Relocate. If when going from 'here' to 'there' you find yourself stuck in a lot of traffic, look into making 'here' closer to 'there.' You may find you have severely improved your predicament."

The post includes six such coping strategies, which are all good for a reminder of Hedberg's genius as well as some inspiration to change your situation if you're one of the unlucky people oppressed by the daily trips between work and home.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015 in Medium

Large blank mall building with only two cars in large parking lot.

Pennsylvania Mall Conversion Bill Passes House

If passed, the bill would promote the adaptive reuse of defunct commercial buildings.

April 18, 2024 - Central Penn Business Journal

Aeriel view of white sheep grazing on green grass between rows of solar panels.

Coming Soon to Ohio: The Largest Agrivoltaic Farm in the US

The ambitious 6,000-acre project will combine an 800-watt solar farm with crop and livestock production.

April 24, 2024 - Columbus Dispatch

Rendering of wildlife crossing over 101 freeway in Los Angeles County.

World's Largest Wildlife Overpass In the Works in Los Angeles County

Caltrans will soon close half of the 101 Freeway in order to continue construction of the Wallis Annenberg Wildlife Crossing near Agoura Hills in Los Angeles County.

April 15, 2024 - LAist

Wind turbines and solar panels against a backdrop of mountains in the Mojave Desert near Palm Springs, California

California Grid Runs on 100% Renewable Energy for Over 9 Hours

The state’s energy grid was entirely powered by clean energy for some portion of the day on 37 out of the last 45 days.

April 24 - Fast Company

Close-up of hand holding up wooden thermometer in front of blurred street

New Forecasting Tool Aims to Reduce Heat-Related Deaths

Two federal agencies launched a new, easy-to-use, color-coded heat warning system that combines meteorological and medical risk factors.

April 24 - Associated Press via Portland Press Herald

View of Dallas city skyline with moderately busy freeway in foreground at twilight.

AI Traffic Management Comes to Dallas-Fort Worth

Several Texas cities are using an AI-powered platform called NoTraffic to help manage traffic signals to increase safety and improve traffic flow.

April 24 - Dallas Morning News

News from HUD User

HUD's Office of Policy Development and Research

Call for Speakers

Mpact Transit + Community

New Updates on PD&R Edge

HUD's Office of Policy Development and Research

Urban Design for Planners 1: Software Tools

This six-course series explores essential urban design concepts using open source software and equips planners with the tools they need to participate fully in the urban design process.

Planning for Universal Design

Learn the tools for implementing Universal Design in planning regulations.