A struggling artist laments in The Onion that more people like him aren't moving into his neighborhood to make it even more authentic than it is now...and asking for $3.00 lattes.
"I am always telling my other struggling artist, freelance graphic designer, and independent T-shirt-maker friends that this is the neighborhood to take it to. It's the next big thing. Sure, it's an hour from my day job and right next to a stinky canal and a power station, but that's the whole charmâ€"it keeps the yuppies out.
The problem is that the property owners here are clueless. They're spending all this money to renovate the old church, when it'd be put to better use split it up into condos. My landlord has no idea this apartment is undervalued. He could quadruple his profits by cutting my place in half. So I give him an extra 20 bucks a month hoping he gets the hint, but he just takes it out of the next month's rent.
When I first moved in, I loved the 50-cent coffeesâ€"it was like living in the '80sâ€"but I wish they'd listen to me and start making lattes. I know I'd pay the extra three bucks, and I'm sure everyone else around here would, too.
I mean, I don't want the people here to leave. I just want them to stay inside more. Especially if they're not going to do anything to bring this community to life.
Do any of these people appreciate what the neighborhood they're living in could be?"
Thanks to Adam Ploetz
FULL STORY: Sometimes I Feel Like I'm The Only One Trying To Gentrify This Neighborhood
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