Next Train ETA: Never

The Onion feels the pain of everyone who takes the train.
September 7, 2018, 2pm PDT | James Brasuell | @CasualBrasuell
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Joe Tabacca

The Onion today ushered out the short work week with a totally fake story written to satirize the plight of commuters who travel on public transit.

Growing increasingly anxious as tempers flared on the crowded platform, Metropolitan Transportation Authority planning director William Wheeler was reportedly too nervous Friday to tell commuters waiting for their train that service shut down permanently an hour ago.

The joke comes as the New York MTA prepares to shut down the busy L Train for 15 months in 2019.

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