Friday Funny: I'll Do Anything to Solve Homelessness, But I Won't Do That

A satirical post for McSweeney's about the typical approach to the country's growing number of homeless brought to mind a famous song by Meat Loaf.

2 minute read

May 11, 2018, 5:00 AM PDT

By James Brasuell @CasualBrasuell


Not in my back yard

Corepics VOF / Shutterstock

"I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" is stuck in my head after reading this satirical post by Homa Mojtabai. The premise is simple:

Homelessness in America has reached crisis levels and I am determined to do everything in my power to fix the problem as long as it doesn’t involve changing zoning laws or my ability to drive alone to work or, well, changing anything, really. 

Pretty familiar sentiment, really, which is also why the song by Meatloaf made so much sense to so many people even while making no sense at all.

Enough about Meatloaf, though.

The article is a scathing indictment of the self-interest of wealthy Americans and the ongoing neglect of social and economic justice in the United States, as furthered by some anti-housing development and anti-homeless shelter political movements. Here's another sample, as a parting gift for the week:

I know we need more housing, but I was here first and I’m not giving up even one blade of grass on my water-guzzling, pesticide-leaching lawn or a single burner on my twelve-burner Viking range that I never actually use to house another human soul. Tough luck, homeless people. You and your allies can call me names but I won’t hear you over the lushness of my climate-inappropriate rose bushes and the stucco walls I’m paying some desperate immigrant under the table to build for me on the cheap before I low-key call ICE and have them deported.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018 in McSweeney's

portrait of professional woman

I love the variety of courses, many practical, and all richly illustrated. They have inspired many ideas that I've applied in practice, and in my own teaching. Mary G., Urban Planner

I love the variety of courses, many practical, and all richly illustrated. They have inspired many ideas that I've applied in practice, and in my own teaching.

Mary G., Urban Planner

Get top-rated, practical training

Close-up of "Apartment for rent" sign in red text on black background in front of blurred building

Trump Administration Could Effectively End Housing Voucher Program

Federal officials are eyeing major cuts to the Section 8 program that helps millions of low-income households pay rent.

April 21, 2025 - Housing Wire

Logo for Planetizen Federal Action Tracker with black and white image of U.S. Capitol with water ripple overlay.

Planetizen Federal Action Tracker

A weekly monitor of how Trump’s orders and actions are impacting planners and planning in America.

April 30, 2025 - Diana Ionescu

Ken Jennings stands in front of Snohomish County Community Transit bus.

Ken Jennings Launches Transit Web Series

The Jeopardy champ wants you to ride public transit.

April 20, 2025 - Streetsblog USA

Close-up of white panel at top of school bus with "100% electric" black text.

Driving Equity and Clean Air: California Invests in Greener School Transportation

California has awarded $500 million to fund 1,000 zero-emission school buses and chargers for educational agencies as part of its effort to reduce pollution, improve student health, and accelerate the transition to clean transportation.

April 30 - California Air Resources Board

Aerial view of Freeway Park cap park over I-5 interstate freeway in Seattle, Washington at night.

Congress Moves to End Reconnecting Communities and Related Grants

The House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee moved to rescind funding for the Neighborhood Equity and Access program, which funds highway removals, freeway caps, transit projects, pedestrian infrastructure, and more.

April 30 - Streetsblog USA

"No Thru Traffic - Open Streets Restaurants" sign in New York City during Covid-19 pandemic.

From Throughway to Public Space: Taking Back the American Street

How the Covid-19 pandemic taught us new ways to reclaim city streets from cars.

April 30 - Next City