Friday Funny: I'll Do Anything to Solve Homelessness, But I Won't Do That

A satirical post for McSweeney's about the typical approach to the country's growing number of homeless brought to mind a famous song by Meat Loaf.
May 11, 2018, 5am PDT | James Brasuell | @CasualBrasuell
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"I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" is stuck in my head after reading this satirical post by Homa Mojtabai. The premise is simple:

Homelessness in America has reached crisis levels and I am determined to do everything in my power to fix the problem as long as it doesn’t involve changing zoning laws or my ability to drive alone to work or, well, changing anything, really. 

Pretty familiar sentiment, really, which is also why the song by Meatloaf made so much sense to so many people even while making no sense at all.

Enough about Meatloaf, though.

The article is a scathing indictment of the self-interest of wealthy Americans and the ongoing neglect of social and economic justice in the United States, as furthered by some anti-housing development and anti-homeless shelter political movements. Here's another sample, as a parting gift for the week:

I know we need more housing, but I was here first and I’m not giving up even one blade of grass on my water-guzzling, pesticide-leaching lawn or a single burner on my twelve-burner Viking range that I never actually use to house another human soul. Tough luck, homeless people. You and your allies can call me names but I won’t hear you over the lushness of my climate-inappropriate rose bushes and the stucco walls I’m paying some desperate immigrant under the table to build for me on the cheap before I low-key call ICE and have them deported.

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Published on Wednesday, May 9, 2018 in McSweeney's
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