Top Five Newspaper Paywalls

The Washington Post

The Washington Post's paywall definitely scores points for going for the jugular. Appealing to my personal virtues while touting the virtues of a free press? Democracy dies in a place with no platform for virtue signaling. Somewhere behind this paywall, there's that sweet, sweet news about Washington, D.C. corruption that we all crave—just ask Michael Flynn and Jeff Sessions. Also, Bob Woodward is somewhere behind this paywall, too.

The New York Times

All the cool kids have The New York Times, and they'll let you have a taste of the good life for ten blissful clicks. After that you're going to have to pay to play.

The Wall Street Journal

Fed up with the liberal media's paywalls? You know they say if you're not a liberal when you're young, you have no heart, but if you're not a conservative when you're old, you have no mind. Nothing says "I'm old" like The Wall Street Journal paywall.

The Financial Times

This is the Fort Knox of paywalls. What does the Financial Times have back there, 2.3 percent of the world's gold, or something?

Honorable Mention

Tie goes to the locals. Here's looking at you Dallas Morning News, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, Houston Chronicle, Seattle Times, San Francisco Chronicle, Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and Miami Herald. Now that we have your attention, what's with all the websites with weird names?