Friday Funny: Detroit Bound For Scrapyard

Like so many of the cars it produced, Motor City is heading for the scrapyard, the Onion reports.

1 minute read

April 7, 2006, 2:00 PM PDT

By Michael Dudley


"The decision to demolish and cull Detroit for scrap was approved last month by a 6-3 City Council vote after a cost-benefit analysis revealed that, as a functioning urban area, it held a negative cash value.

According to scrap dealers, Detroit is an aging city in fair-to-poor condition, with 'substantial wear and tear.' It also bears the marks of extensive fire and rust damage, and it may not comply with current U.S. safety and emissions standards.

Once dismantled and processed, Detroit is expected to yield nearly 14 million tons of steel, 2.85 million tons of aluminum, and approximately 837,000 tons of copper...China is the world's largest buyer of scrap metal, and could receive up to 80 percent of the city."

Wednesday, April 5, 2006 in The Onion

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