Unable to Distribute High Speed Rail Money, LaHood Throws Awesome Party
Poolside, in between kegstands, LaHood told reporters that he had to respect the wishes of government officials like Florida's Governor Rick Scott, who recently rejected $2.4 billion in federal high speed rail money.
"If nobody wants it, we might as well use it for something that benefits the American people. This party is benefitting a whole lot of Americans here today," said LaHood who then turned to the crowd. "Am I right, ladies?"
Loud screams erupted, and a bikini top was thrown just inches over the head of LaHood.
"So we can't build a high speed rail line," LaHood conceded. "But we can do a conga line!"