Friday Funny: A Magical Zoning Amulet

Urban revitalization efforts enhanced by use of the long-lost Amulet of Surr-Vey, Lord Of Demarcation, He Who Measures And Assesses.

1 minute read

August 26, 2005, 2:00 PM PDT

By Michael Dudley


"After years spent poring over mysterious and arcane plat sheets and deciphering long-forgotten building codes, city councilmember Mike LaMere unearthed the mysterious City Zoning Amulet Friday.

"Though the amulet had long been dismissed as urban legend, a mythical ideal of zoning perfection handed down from city planner to city planner, LaMere became convinced that not only was it real, but that it had been used to lay out the cities of Ur, Atlantis, and Inver Grove Heights, MN.

"LaMere credited the amulet with the overnight renovation of the Monroe County Public Library, and the recent redesignation of a Southern Rochester area from 'commercial' to 'single-family residential use for detached and semi-detached structures.'"

Thanks to Michael Dudley

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 in The Onion

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