Friday Funny: Beaver Falls Prey To Analysis Paralysis

Dam builder Dennis Messner has overanalyzed his upcoming construction project, calling himself an "integration-minded postmodernist". Pretty advanced thinking for a beaver.

1 minute read

April 28, 2006, 2:00 PM PDT

By David Gest


"HUNTSVILLE, ONTARIO -- Local beaver Dennis Messner is spending an inordinate amount of time and effort in the planning and construction phases of building his dam, according to neighbors close to the project.

In the past four months, Messner, 4, has visited hundreds of other dams and drawn up detailed and extensive blueprints. He has researched topics ranging from advanced dome acoustics to the near-extinction of the North American beaver in the early 20th century, and plans to incorporate much of his research into his design."

Thanks to Benjamin Cromie

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 in The Onion

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