To be fair, if someone was compiling episodes from the police scanner in your town and tweeting them out to the country, your city might not look so good by comparison. But until that day comes, you can spend some time marveling at the "crime-and raccoon-infested underbelly of Sheboygan bit by lovely bit."
"916 huron ave - woman's arm stuck in recliner"
"21xx 8th st - disturbance; caller's roommate refuses to discuss important life issues"
"e eastman st - small, sorry-looking dog in middle of street; looks mangy, has cataracts, answers to lucky"