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Lamest Land Use of the Week

Pizza is delicious. Crop circles are cool. But what happens when you put them together?

Nate Berg | August 8, 2008, 5pm PDT
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Pizza is delicious. Crop circles are cool. But what happens when you put them together?

Lamest Crop Circle Ever

This happens. And it is horrible.

A crop-pizza now covers six acres of Colorado farmland. It's directly under two flight paths leading into Denver International Airport, according to a recent article in the Rocky Mountain News. So when people peer out from their window seats, instead of looking down on the quilted tapestry of American land use patterns they see pizza.

It's the mutant cousin of billboards -- the sprawl of advertising.

Don't get me wrong: I love pizza, and crop circle art is really amazing. But there's just something about a six-acre advertisement for mediocre delivery pizza that makes me want to get drunk on moonshine, steal a tractor and destroy.

Maybe I'm overreacting. More likely, though, I am absolutely justified. This is blight, plain and simple. And it's a blight that should be wiped clean from the earth.

While the artistry and craftsmanship is impressive, it's a shameless bastardization of an artform that's been practiced on this planet for thousands of years. In honor of the history of human artistic expression, we should be ashamed. Planners especially should take warning: absurd advertisements like these have happened before and they are likely to happen again. Preventing the blatant commercialization of our landscapes is in the best interest of the public and its sense of human decency.

Update: Check out this far better use of cropspace to get out a message: http://www.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=millersburg,+in&ie=UTF8&ll=41.539968,-85.728357&spn=0.006216,0.009656&t=h&z=17

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