December 8, 2006, 2pm PST
<p>The state of South Dakota -- closed to the public since 1931 -- will be reopened to help the United States cope with its steadily rising population.</p>
October 20, 2006, 2pm PDT
<p>The Onion reports on how an 'insane' California intersection is the most likely site of 'awesome' car crashes.</p>
September 8, 2006, 2pm PDT
Five years after 9/11, satirical publication The Onion reports on the World Trade Center rebuilding effort in New York City.
August 25, 2006, 2pm PDT
A struggling artist laments in The Onion that more people like him aren't moving into his neighborhood to make it even more authentic than it is now...and asking for $3.00 lattes.
April 28, 2006, 2pm PDT
Dam builder Dennis Messner has overanalyzed his upcoming construction project, calling himself an "integration-minded postmodernist". Pretty advanced thinking for a beaver.
April 7, 2006, 2pm PDT
Like so many of the cars it produced, Motor City is heading for the scrapyard, the Onion reports.
February 10, 2006, 2pm PST
It's a shame when a Mom n' Pop parking lot falls victim to another 'Area' Wal-Mart.
August 26, 2005, 2pm PDT
Urban revitalization efforts enhanced by use of the long-lost Amulet of Surr-Vey, Lord Of Demarcation, He Who Measures And Assesses.
August 12, 2005, 2pm PDT
The Onion reports on President Bush's "aggressive initiative" to eliminate oil dependence by 4920. The auto industry isn't so sure.
July 29, 2005, 2pm PDT
Neighborhood preservationists worry as fast food joints close around the country.
June 17, 2005, 2pm PDT
Habitrail for Humanity is under scrutiny for unorthodox housing communities.
May 13, 2005, 2pm PDT
The Onion offers its top tips for improving Amtrak's propsects for funding.
March 18, 2005, 2pm PST
Irv Draper fought ten long years to save taxpayers' money and ensure that a community pool would not be built.
March 4, 2005, 2pm PST
Minnesota is reluctance to request more interstate funding.
February 11, 2005, 2pm PST
Between 9,000 and 15,000 people work at the US Census Bureau, according to the Bureau's 2004 figures.
March 31, 2004, 3pm PST
'The Onion' takes on the strip mall.
March 10, 2004, 3pm PST
The planning profession makes "The Onion".
September 19, 2003, 2pm PDT
An "opinion" piece by Wal-Mart Store #3297.
August 16, 2002, 2pm PDT
The stunning design for an all-foyer mansion attracts national attention, but the work of stoner architects is tragically underfunded.
May 31, 2002, 2pm PDT
The U.S. Congress called the current U.S. Capitol "inadequate and obsolete," and threatens to relocate to Charlotte or Memphis. Architecture firm proposes a new retractable-dome capitol.