The Onion

April 28, 2006, 2pm PDT
Dam builder Dennis Messner has overanalyzed his upcoming construction project, calling himself an "integration-minded postmodernist". Pretty advanced thinking for a beaver.
The Onion
April 7, 2006, 2pm PDT
Like so many of the cars it produced, Motor City is heading for the scrapyard, the Onion reports.
The Onion
February 10, 2006, 2pm PST
It's a shame when a Mom n' Pop parking lot falls victim to another 'Area' Wal-Mart.
The Onion
August 26, 2005, 2pm PDT
Urban revitalization efforts enhanced by use of the long-lost Amulet of Surr-Vey, Lord Of Demarcation, He Who Measures And Assesses.
The Onion
August 12, 2005, 2pm PDT
The Onion reports on President Bush's "aggressive initiative" to eliminate oil dependence by 4920. The auto industry isn't so sure.
The Onion
July 29, 2005, 2pm PDT
Neighborhood preservationists worry as fast food joints close around the country.
The Onion
June 17, 2005, 2pm PDT
Habitrail for Humanity is under scrutiny for unorthodox housing communities.
The Onion
May 13, 2005, 2pm PDT
The Onion offers its top tips for improving Amtrak's propsects for funding.
The Onion
March 18, 2005, 2pm PST
Irv Draper fought ten long years to save taxpayers' money and ensure that a community pool would not be built.
The Onion
March 4, 2005, 2pm PST
Minnesota is reluctance to request more interstate funding.
The Onion
February 11, 2005, 2pm PST
Between 9,000 and 15,000 people work at the US Census Bureau, according to the Bureau's 2004 figures.
The Onion
March 31, 2004, 3pm PST
'The Onion' takes on the strip mall.
The Onion
March 10, 2004, 3pm PST
The planning profession makes "The Onion".
The Onion
September 19, 2003, 2pm PDT
An "opinion" piece by Wal-Mart Store #3297.
The Onion
August 16, 2002, 2pm PDT
The stunning design for an all-foyer mansion attracts national attention, but the work of stoner architects is tragically underfunded.
The Onion
May 31, 2002, 2pm PDT
The U.S. Congress called the current U.S. Capitol "inadequate and obsolete," and threatens to relocate to Charlotte or Memphis. Architecture firm proposes a new retractable-dome capitol.
The Onion
May 17, 2002, 2pm PDT
Could it be -- a completed overpass connecting Mexico and Canada?
The Onion
December 13, 2001, 6am PST
Puzzled about the features of the much-hyped Segway Human Transporter? The Onion presents all you need to know in a single "infographic."
The Onion
August 25, 2001, 11am PDT
The Onion humorously reports on a family of five that was found alive in the Chicago suburbs after eight years.
The Onion
April 13, 2001, 6am PDT
General Motors announces a low-cost, disposable car, The Onion reports.
The Onion