Friday Funny: A Comedian's Guide to Coping With Traffic

Not recommended reading for those currently operating a motor vehicle.

1 minute read

December 11, 2015, 5:00 AM PST

By James Brasuell @CasualBrasuell


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Mr Doomits / Shutterstock

Nathan S. Holmes mines the oeuvre of classic comedian Mitch Hedberg for coping strategies, offered for "anyone whose daily routine involves a lot of traffic congestion."

Holmes's fomula is simple: quote one of Heberg's typically dry and twisted one liners and then describe its relevance to the commuter's condition.

So, for example, a joke from Mitch Hedberg (WARNING: foul language included):

"If you find yourself lost in the woods, fuck it! Build a house. 'Well, I was lost but now I live here. I have severely improved my predicament.'"

And Holmes's spin:

"Coping Strategy: Relocate. If when going from 'here' to 'there' you find yourself stuck in a lot of traffic, look into making 'here' closer to 'there.' You may find you have severely improved your predicament."

The post includes six such coping strategies, which are all good for a reminder of Hedberg's genius as well as some inspiration to change your situation if you're one of the unlucky people oppressed by the daily trips between work and home.

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