Friday Funny: The Onion Satirizes our Obsession with 'High Tech Jobs'

In a totally fake news report, satirical site The Onion imagines just how far some policy makers will go to appear like they are attracting techies and innovation.
izzointeractive / flickr

This news is not real, but it only slightly exaggerates news you're probably very familiar with: "In an effort to spur their local economies, many state governments are now offering tens of millions of dollars in tax breaks to any person who simply says the words 'high-tech jobs,' according to a survey by the Pew Research Center published Monday."

Other words granted favors include "biotech," "innovation center," "high-skilled workers," and "tomorrow’s economy."

The fake news story puts fake words in the mount of Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton, who explains the his state's policy: "Anyone who can say those words will get all the taxpayer-financed assistance they want, no questions asked. We can also provide tax-free property and generous relocation packages to anyone who recites the phrase 'regional technology hub.' Heck, we’ll raze a nice big plot of land for you in any city in the state at your request. Seriously, we’ll do whatever you want—don’t be afraid to ask."

It's hard to shake the feeling that the satire is a little too well timed with the Bookings Institution's innovation districts study, released earlier this week, for it to be a coincidence.

Full Story: States Now Offering Millions In Tax Breaks To Any Person Who Says ‘High-Tech Jobs’

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