In a satirical news report aimed more at the ridiculous ways beer is marketed in the United States than the serious issue of train safety, The Onion reports that a Coors Light Party Train has crashed while barreling through the middle of the country “on its way to liven up a boring, over-heated BBQ.”
Surprisingly enough, some of the joke at the marketing campaign’s expense comes via engineering statistics that are sure to delight fans of high speed rail. For instance, the Party Train is powered by frost and travels at 27,000 miles per hour. The train’s juggernaut specifications are an early suspect in investigations into the cause of the crash. “Investigators are now focusing on the fact that the train ways 400 million tons and was not on rails,” reports The Onion.
Or maybe the report is a satire on the current political reality for high speed rail projects in the country. That’s probably a question best pondered over a cold one.