Friday Funny: Disney's 'Urban Adventure'

Personally, I think there’s a way for Disney to make lemonade out of the lemons of this dispute over housing near Disneyland in Anaheim. Given that affordable housing is a clearly one-way ticket to blight and criminality -- at least according to some critics in Anaheim -- Disney should capitalize on the setting, and "theme" its third gate as “Disney’s Urban Adventure.”

The inner-city-like conditions created by the new housing development can be “re-purposed” as an attraction for suburban youth, who are the largest consumers of hiphop recordings, tee-shirts, and grills (i.e. bling for teeth.)

Here’s a clip from our marketing video (please keep in mind that in Disney parlance, customers are “guests” and employees are “performers.”)

Goofy’s Crack House and Ho Alley will recreate South Central as heartwarmingly as Disneyland’s Main Street replicated the Midwest town center.

Suburban Teenage Disney Guest: “I can’t believe how real this all seems! Look at this poorly maintained houses, and the unemployed people, sitting listlessly on the front stoops, seething with impotence and resentment. Say, sir, you know where I can buy a rock and hook up with a home girl?”