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Friday Funny: A Magical Zoning Amulet

Posted by: Michael Dudley
Thanks to: Michael Dudley
26 August 2005 - 2:00pm

Urban revitalization efforts enhanced by use of the long-lost Amulet of Surr-Vey, Lord Of Demarcation, He Who Measures And Assesses.

"After years spent poring over mysterious and arcane plat sheets and deciphering long-forgotten building codes, city councilmember Mike LaMere unearthed the mysterious City Zoning Amulet Friday.

"Though the amulet had long been dismissed as urban legend, a mythical ideal of zoning perfection handed down from city planner to city planner, LaMere became convinced that not only was it real, but that it had been used to lay out the cities of Ur, Atlantis, and Inver Grove Heights, MN.

"LaMere credited the amulet with the overnight renovation of the Monroe County Public Library, and the recent redesignation of a Southern Rochester area from 'commercial' to 'single-family residential use for detached and semi-detached structures.'"

Full Story: City Councilman Unearths Magical Zoning Amulet
Source: The Onion, August 24, 2005
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Truth be told, compact growth is trouncing suburban sprawl not because the destructive environmental consequences of the latter have made it unacceptable development policy. Compact growth is flourishing simply because high commuting costs exemplified by oft-cited "pain at the pump" are demagnetizing the suburban mystique and suddenly catapulting compact development into the forefront of urban revival.
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