The Onion reports on a study showing that a vast majority of Americans want further investments in public transit so everyone else can get off the road and make their drive faster.
"A study released Monday by the American Public Transportation Association reveals that 98 percent of Americans support the use of mass transit by others.
Of the study's 5,200 participants, 44 percent cited faster commutes as the primary reason to expand public transportation, followed closely by shorter lines at the gas station. Environmental and energy concerns ranked a distant third and fourth, respectively.
Anaheim, CA, resident Lance Holland, who drives 80 miles a day to his job in downtown Los Angeles, was among the proponents of public transit.
'Expanding mass transit isn't just a good idea, it's a necessity,' Holland said. 'My drive to work is unbelievable. I spend more than two hours stuck in 12 lanes of traffic. It's about time somebody did something to get some of these other cars off the road.'
Public support for mass transit will naturally lead to its expansion and improvement, Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transportation Authority officials said.
'With everyone behind it, we'll be able to expand bus routes, create park-and-ride programs, and build entire new Metrolink commuter-rail lines,' LACMTA president Howard Sager said. 'It's almost a shame I don't know anyone who will be using these new services."'
In conjunction with its release, the APTA is kicking off a campaign to promote mass transit with the slogan, 'Take The Bus... I'll Be Glad You Did.'"